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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Private Equity Investor jobs? · Latest report #5piy6wmk
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour intuition for a deal is just an algorithm with anxiety.
Senior deal-maker drowning in Excel models and ego.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Superior pattern recognition for market alpha.
ow.youAI▸ EQUITYBOT V-8▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calculates internal rate of return instantly
You hunt for companies to buy, perform financial due diligence, and force-feed operational improvements to meet target returns.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still look a founder in the eye and lie about valuation.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 9
Our scraper reads all your historical deal performance data.
Month 4
AI takes over the building of complex financial Excel models.
Month 8
The bot suggests the best entry and exit multiples.
Month 14
Bot-to-bot chat handles all initial term sheet drafts.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the bot handles the final close.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
14 liters
Coffee consumed per deal
60 percent
Weekend hours lost
200 slides
Slide deck page count
Your severance
A LinkedIn premium subscription and a hollow handshake.
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