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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Private Equity Managing Director jobs? · Latest report #dddb9d78
Your job has an expiration date
October 27, 2029
In 3 yearsYour intuition is just an expensive algorithm without the efficiency.
Master of spreadsheets and expensive lunch reservations.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Closing deals before the board even meets.
sluurp.you▸ EQUITYSTREAM V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
calculates optimal exit multiples in milliseconds
You structure complex deals for continuation vehicles and pitch to limited partners for capital commitment.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the subtle hesitation in an investor's eyes during a handshake.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
The software scans your past deal memos and pitch deck history.
Month 6
Algorithms handle the waterfall calculations and internal rate of return.
Month 14
Digital agents pitch continuation vehicles to limited partners directly.
Year 1.9
Contracts are auto-generated based on standard industry market precedents.
Year 3 · D-Day
The board officially outsources your final decision-making power to the server.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.2%
Zero
Annual carry potential
0.0 liters
Coffee consumed
0
Slides per deal
Your severance
One free subscription to a golf simulator.
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