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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Private Equity Operating Partner jobs? · Latest report #6az2vyzp
Your job has an expiration date
August 5, 2028
In 1 year, 9 monthsTurning billion-dollar portfolio companies into expensive, automated spreadsheet ghosts.
Professional spreadsheet evangelist and amateur company-killer.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Value creation without the awkward lunch meetings.
split.youAI▸ EQUITYPULSE OPTIMIZER-7▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 9 MONTHSAI's Special Power
liquidates assets while you sleep
You hunt for inefficiencies in company processes and mandate rapid, painful restructuring to boost short-term shareholder value.
The one thing AI can't do
You can look a terrified CEO in the eye while cutting their department.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Software scrapes all company financial data to identify waste.
Month 5
Bots execute layoffs and vendor cancellations based on data.
Month 10
An AI agent sits on the board to mandate changes.
Month 15
Sensors monitor office productivity to ensure total compliance.
Month 21 · D-Day
The human partner receives a final, automated exit memo.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
100 percent
Coffee budget saved
400 percent
EBITDA growth simulation
Maximum
Human charisma removed
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a remote island.
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