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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Private Equity Partner jobs? · Latest report #sfiju4es
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2028
In 2 yearsYou hunt for alpha, but algorithms are hunting your carry.
Expert in carry, spreadsheets, and long-haul business class flights.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated deal flow for the modern board
oof.youAI▸ CAPITAI-CAPITALIST V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
liquidates your entire portfolio before market open
You identify investment targets, negotiate deal structures, and monitor portfolio company performance. You spend your life chasing exits.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the room when the founder is lying through their teeth.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 3
AI models start identifying targets before you even open email.
Month 5
Bots crunch every financial record and legal risk factor instantly.
Month 10
Software writes the term sheets with optimal risk-adjusted logic.
Month 18
Virtual directors monitor performance metrics better than any human advisor.
Year 2 · D-Day
A terminal handles all capital allocation without the human overhead.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.2%
14 cups
Coffee consumed per deal
System error
Average ego size
800
Slide decks per year
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our market sentiment dashboard.
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