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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Private Equity Researcher jobs? · Latest report #5fsu576b
Your job has an expiration date
July 23, 2028
In 1 year, 9 monthsYour financial modeling is just a spreadsheet waiting to be deleted.
Professional thesis-crafter and PowerPoint architecture expert.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Data-driven conviction without the ego.
bzzt.youAI▸ EQUITYSENTINEL V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 9 MONTHSAI's Special Power
recalculates internal rates of return instantly
You synthesize market data to justify aggressive investment theses. Your spreadsheets are vanity projects for partners with short attention spans.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a stakeholder with a straight face during a pitch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Scrapers replace manual data entry for all public market sizing and industry trends.
Month 4
Generative algorithms construct LBO models from raw data sets with zero human error.
Month 10
AI automatically populates slide templates with updated financials and polished bullet points.
Month 15
Visual intelligence agents index and summarize every document in the virtual data room.
Month 21 · D-Day
Human research oversight is decommissioned as the logic engine self-optimizes the entire portfolio.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.9%
4 Liters
Coffee consumed per deal
892
Useless slide decks generated
42%
Investment thesis accuracy
Your severance
A LinkedIn premium subscription and one sad goodbye emoji.
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