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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Private Equity Senior VP jobs? · Latest report #fbeskpgf
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour desk is just a spreadsheet waiting to be deleted.
Master of the leveraged buyout and late-night slide deck
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Closing deals before you finish your latte.
help!you▸ EQUITYANALYZER PRIME V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
liquidates your firm with one click
You spend all day modeling IRR in Excel and chasing proprietary deal flow for committees. We automate the misery.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still perform the performative sigh when a meeting runs past 7 PM.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Scrapers pull all industry data without needing your manual input.
Month 5
Our algorithms calculate IRR faster than your junior associates.
Month 10
Visual generators replace your nightly PowerPoint editing marathon.
Month 15
AI models simulate your board's bias to finalize decisions.
Month 19 · D-Day
The office lights go out as the server closes the fund.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
8 cups daily
Coffee consumption rate
1200 per annum
Powerpoint slide deck count
4500
Unread internal emails
Your severance
A LinkedIn badge that says "Expert in Excel Hacks"
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