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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Private Equity VP jobs? · Latest report #f4ra678y
Your job has an expiration date
May 20, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsYou specialize in buying things that eventually stop needing your oversight.
Master of Excel shortcuts and weekend board slide decks
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning spreadsheets into actual exit strategies.
no no noyouAI▸ CAPITAI STRATEGY SUITE 9.0▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
recalculates internal rates of return instantly
You build complex financial models and manage portfolio company reporting. Your job is basically glorified spreadsheet maintenance.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still look a weary founder in the eye and negotiate terms.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 7
Bots pull data from portfolio software directly into models.
Month 8
Software drafts the board memos from raw financial inputs.
Month 16
AI runs thousands of exit simulations per second.
Year 2
Design engines finalize investor presentations without human input.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The system assumes full control of the investment process.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
400 litres
Coffee consumed annually
92 percent
Time spent in meetings
14
Excel errors per day
Your severance
a lifetime subscription to your favorite industry newsletter
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