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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Private Markets Fundraiser jobs? · Latest report #yr2j86tq
Your job has an expiration date
July 23, 2028
In 1 year, 9 monthsSelling imaginary access to exclusive assets is a zero-sum math problem.
Master of spreadsheets and expensive lunch invitations.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated capital allocation for the elite.
toast.youAI▸ CAPFORGE AI-MODEL 7▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 9 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates the entire capital call process
You pitch private equity funds to institutional investors while juggling quarterly performance reporting and investor relation meetings.
The one thing AI can't do
You alone know exactly which investor needs to be flattered in person today.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
LLMs generate your quarterly reports and due diligence responses instantly.
Month 5
Algorithms predict which investors are ready to commit capital.
Month 10
Systems dynamically generate hyper-personalised pitch materials for every lead.
Month 15
Automated authentication replaces the need for human networking introductions.
Month 21 · D-Day
Capital flows directly to fund managers via smart contracts.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 93.5%
42
Emails per prospect
$12k
Coffee costs expensed
3%
LinkedIn connection acceptance rate
Your severance
A one-month subscription to a legacy networking site.
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