Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Pro Soccer Head Coach jobs? · Latest report #dqymheg3
Your job has an expiration date
May 14, 2030
In 3 years, 7 monthsPredicting substitutions is just pattern matching without the post-game excuses.
Professional loud-talker and clipboard enthusiast.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Win matches without the emotional baggage.
sluurp.you▸ TACTICAL-ENGINE V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
adjusts defensive formation in real time
You manage squad rotations, tactical formations, and media press conferences. Your job is mostly yelling at millionaires.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still stare at the referee with genuine, unprogrammed human hatred.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Wearable sensors feed player fatigue data directly to our algorithm.
Month 5
AI models generate higher-probability goal scoring patterns from corners.
Month 12
The AI transmits real-time formation shifts through earpieces to captains.
Year 2
Generative language models handle press conferences without swearing or crying.
Year 3.6 · D-Day
The head coach role is fully deprecated for a rack server.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
4.2
Average post-game excuses
0.01
Seconds until tactical timeout
Excessive
Salary per win
Your severance
A lifetime supply of lukewarm sideline bottled water.
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