Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Procrastinator jobs? · Latest report #rpd97ubp
Your job has an expiration date
October 25, 2026
In 3 daysYou specialize in avoiding work; we specialize in making it vanish.
Professional artisan of the 'I'll do it later' aesthetic.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Efficiency through deliberate, algorithmic stagnation.
no no noyouAI▸ IDLESTATE CORE V1.0▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
optimizes your avoidance habits to zero
You spend your days oscillating between existential dread and deep-dive research into irrelevant internet rabbit holes. Your output is currently zero, making you already perfectly redundant.
The one thing AI can't do
You have a truly masterful ability to remain absolutely still while doomscrolling for hours.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
An automated browser script closes all 400 of your irrelevant open research tabs.
Day 2
Generic 'I am working on it' responses are sent automatically to all your stakeholders.
Day 2
The AI deletes your to-do list entirely since you were never going to finish them.
Day 2
A mouse-jiggling algorithm keeps your status as 'Available' while you sleep soundly.
Day 3 · D-Day
Your account access is revoked because the AI realized it doesn't need you to exist.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
8 daily
Hours spent on Wikipedia
0.00%
Productive output
45 mins
Coffee consumption frequency
Your severance
A browser bookmark for a job board you'll ignore.
Discussion
