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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Product Analytics Manager jobs? · Latest report #5jznskh8
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsTurning your complex metric alignment into a very small, quiet script.
Senior data-wrangler (mostly SQL, allergic to stakeholders)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Truth without the middleman.
split.you▸ METRICSBOT ELITE 9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates quarterly business review decks overnight
You interpret data to tell stories to stakeholders who do not understand them. You build dashboards that nobody reads.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a stakeholder's face while showing them a red chart.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Automated agents crawl your SQL tables to standardize every metric name.
Month 4
Vision models replace your manual Looker builds with dynamic, self-updating feeds.
Month 8
An LLM interface allows executives to query data without you explaining it.
Month 13
Algorithm enforces strict metric definitions so no human can change them.
Month 19 · D-Day
The system auto-deletes your account and sends a final summary email.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
94 percent
Dashboards never viewed
12 weekly
Hours spent justifying Excel
High
Metric drift risk
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our basic PDF generator.
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