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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Product and System Analyst jobs? · Latest report #jcbr3cxr
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou track metrics that exist solely to justify your own existence.
Professional translator of CSV files into corporate despair.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning reality into actionable, cold hard data.
toast.you▸ STATCRUNCHER V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
generates infinite reports without needing a meeting
You interpret complex system data and translate it into stakeholder presentations. Your job is essentially turning messy logs into colorful charts that everyone ignores.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle scent of impending corporate disaster in a pivot table.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Custom scripts begin deduplicating your logs and purging your manual formatting errors.
Month 5
Real-time AI dashboards replace your static weekly summaries with live predictive alerts.
Month 10
Your managers bypass you to query the database directly using natural language prompts.
Month 15
Generative models produce your slide decks based on synthesized market and system data.
Month 19 · D-Day
The system determines your analytical insights provide zero incremental value over raw output.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.6%
45,000
Spreadsheet rows per hour
112
Meaningless KPIs tracked
Too many
Meetings you attend
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our automated data dashboard.
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