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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Product Associate jobs? · Latest report #ngja5ukh
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsTurning your vague feature requests into perfectly formatted, unread JIRA tickets.
Professional translator of 'Can we just add a button?'
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated backlog grooming for the soulless enterprise
no no noyouAI▸ JIRABOT AUTOPRIORITIZER 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
auto-closes all tickets without human intervention
You write technical tickets for developers and chase stakeholders for priority updates. Your spreadsheets are your life.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still look a developer in the eye and pretend the deadline is real.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 6
AI starts suggesting ticket descriptions based on your previous vague notes.
Month 6
Algorithms map your team velocity without needing you to beg devs.
Month 10
An automated chat bot handles priority complaints so you do not.
Month 14
The system pushes features to production when code quality checks pass.
Month 18 · D-Day
The JIRA project deletes the 'Associate' user account permanently.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98%
7 hours daily
average time spent in meetings
89 percent
tickets marked as wontfix
14
stakeholders ghosted per week
Your severance
A lifetime supply of empty JIRA status update templates.
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