Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Product Marketing Brand Manager jobs? · Latest report #pcgqihbk
Your job has an expiration date
July 23, 2028
In 1 year, 9 monthsTranslating scientific jargon into profitable fluff for shareholders is a dying art.
Professional slide-deck beautifier and clinical-data obfuscator.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated messaging, zero human bias.
squeeze.you▸ OMNIBRAND INSIGHT ENGINE V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 9 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates quarterly brand narrative reports
You manage clinical messaging for drug brands and coordinate launch campaigns. Your output is mostly slide decks and competitive analysis reports.
The one thing AI can't do
You are actually capable of feeling shame when spinning terrible clinical data.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
AI systems begin indexing your clinical trial data to generate draft messaging automatically.
Month 4
Generative models produce compliant, templated slide decks for your medical review board meetings.
Month 10
Algorithmic analysis of market data replaces your manual sales forecasting and competitive analysis.
Month 15
Regulatory software learns to self-check claims against guidelines, bypassing your manual review process.
Month 21 · D-Day
Your access is revoked once the system achieves 99% regulatory compliance without human supervision.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 93.6%
450
Slides produced per quarter
12
Average buzzwords per email
78%
Time spent in useless meetings
Your severance
One free subscription to a generic meditation app.
Discussion
