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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Apple Polisher jobs? · Latest report #ksjgmvna
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsYour career is just fruit-based janitorial work that machines do faster.
Obsessive microfiber enthusiast with carpal tunnel issues.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
A high-gloss finish for every singular fruit.
squeeze.you▸ POMMEBUFF 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
restores fruit luster with ultrasonic precision
You spend all day buffing fruit with microfiber cloths to ensure high-gloss aesthetic standards for luxury grocery displays.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment the wax starts to streak on a Red Delicious.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 7
Visual sensors identify bruised fruit before you even touch them.
Month 7
A robotic conveyor belt handles the initial wipe-down process.
Month 13
Precision pincers replace your manual cloth buffing technique entirely.
Month 18
The machine maintains a perfect sheen across the entire inventory.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
Your polishing kit is recycled into spare parts for the bots.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
9.8/10
Average shine rating
120
Apples buffed per hour
Daily
Cloth laundry cycles
Your severance
A crate of unpolished, second-grade gala apples.
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