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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Basketball Benchwarmer jobs? · Latest report #3kvd7fw6
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsA highly paid towel-waving specialist with a very limited skill set.
Professional towel-waver, high-fiver, and team morale mascot.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Waving towels with 100 percent efficiency.
glub.youAI▸ SIDELINESUPPORT-BOT 3000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
celebrates every basket with identical robotic intensity
You provide emotional support from the sidelines while waiting for garbage time. You never actually impact game outcomes.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the unique human ability to look disappointed while sitting on a wooden bench.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 4
Robotic arms replace the need for humans to hand out equipment.
Month 8
Sensors detect baskets and trigger pre-programmed audio cheering loops.
Month 12
High-def screens project realistic human reactions to keep sponsors happy.
Month 15
The league replaces bench slots with smart data-analytics diagnostic stations.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
The last benchwarmer is replaced by a box that tracks stats.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.9%
Unlimited
Average towel wave frequency
Zero
Game contribution percentage
Penny
Cost per cheer provided
Your severance
A lifetime supply of sports drinks and locker room access.
Discussion
