Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Basketball Dog jobs? · Latest report #kw7myzbb
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsA rubber ball and a treat cannot justify your salary anymore.
Good boy (technically proficient, emotionally needy)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Dribbling without the drool.
help!youAI▸ HOOPHOUND 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sinks every free throw with mechanical precision
You chase a ball around a court and try to put it in a hoop. Success is rewarded with snacks.
The one thing AI can't do
You have a genuine, unforced enthusiasm for chasing things that will never be caught.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 3
Sensors map the court to track the ball's trajectory perfectly.
Month 8
Pincers learn to bounce the ball without using teeth.
Month 13
The machine locks onto the hoop coordinate for consistent scoring.
Month 18
Calculations prove treats are an inefficient energy source for sports.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
The HoopHound takes the court, leaving you permanently retired.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
Two
Average points per game
Infinite
Belly rubs required
Spotty
Dribbling accuracy
Your severance
A lifetime supply of squeaky toys.
Discussion
