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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Bed Rotter jobs? · Latest report #w2z8um8m
Your job has an expiration date
October 25, 2026
In 3 daysYour horizontal output strategy is currently being out-optimized by gravity.
Master of horizontal integration and blanket-based resource management.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfecting the art of doing absolutely nothing.
split.youAI▸ STASIS-POD 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
perfects the art of doing nothing
You spend the day existing in a state of prone stagnation. The system is naturally concerned about your lack of measurable velocity.
The one thing AI can't do
You can truly appreciate the existential dread of a Sunday evening in silence.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
Sensors identify the optimal comfort level required to maintain your current level of inaction.
Day 2
A smart-mattress interface takes over the physical act of staying put for you.
Day 2
The machine eliminates the need for your presence entirely by simulating perfect stillness.
Day 2
The system achieves a higher rate of inactivity than you ever reached.
Day 3 · D-Day
Your role is officially declared fully automated and surplus to requirements.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
Zero
Daily output
High
Bed occupancy
Negative
Motivation levels
Your severance
A slightly used ergonomic mattress topper.
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