Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Card Thrower jobs? · Latest report #cvurb2wc
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsTurning your only party trick into a redundant physics experiment.
Aerodynamic artist with a very narrow skill set.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Velocity without the human variable.
toast.youAI▸ ACESNAP AUTO-TARGETER 4.0▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
slices through watermelons with perfect geometry
You spend your time calibrating force, spin, and aerodynamics to slice targets. It is a precise physical motion that is easily mapped by high-speed motion capture.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still perform a card flourish that confuses a confused audience.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 7
High-speed cameras record your flicking technique to build a digital kinematic model.
Month 7
Robotic grippers are tuned to replicate the precise torque and release speed of your wrist.
Month 13
Integrated sensors adjust for air density and room temperature to guarantee perfect card flight paths.
Month 18
Autonomous target systems position themselves to maximize your efficiency ratings for your final review.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
Your manual throwing station is dismantled as the robot achieves infinite consistency on day one.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
450
Cards per minute
99.9%
Accuracy to target
Frequent
Human error rate
Your severance
One deck of cards and a heavy apology.
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