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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Childcare Specialist jobs? · Latest report #663eeg4v
Your job has an expiration date
April 19, 2031
In 4 years, 6 monthsYour capacity for bottomless patience is remarkably expensive to subsidize.
Master of redirection and sticky finger management.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Superior Supervision Without The Sentimentality
help!youAI▸ NANNYBOT 4000-X▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
de-escalates temper tantrums with white noise
You oversee unstructured play and manage complex social dynamics in unpredictable environments. Our systems are working on the spatial awareness required to prevent your small charges from eating glue.
The one thing AI can't do
You are able to feign genuine interest in a drawing of a lumpy cat.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors map your movement patterns and vocal reactions to common childhood chaos triggers.
Month 15
Neural networks learn to predict tantrums before they escalate into high-decibel incidents.
Year 2.5
Soft-touch robotic arms begin assisted lifting and snack preparation in controlled test environments.
Year 3.6
The unit performs full-day cycles while human staff monitors for safety standard compliance.
Year 4 · D-Day
The unit assumes full oversight and emotional bandwidth requirements are officially phased out.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92.2%
0%
Tantrums Neutralized
99.9%
Snack Dispensing Accuracy
Too Much
Human Emotion Detected
Your severance
One lifetime supply of toddler-grade crayons.
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