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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Couch Potato jobs? · Latest report #hpck337g
Your job has an expiration date
October 26, 2026
In 3 daysYour career as a decorative furniture accessory is nearing its expiration date.
Expert in high-stakes horizontal entertainment consumption.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The ultimate in motionless, high-definition entertainment consumption.
ow.youAI▸ SLUMPMOD 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
achieves perfect stagnation without ever needing food
This role involves high-level sedentary lounging and sustained consumption of media. Efficiency is currently hindered by human digestive requirements.
The one thing AI can't do
You retain the unique ability to judge plot holes while physically comatose.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
Sensors detect your eye movement to change channels automatically.
Day 2
A belt feeds you calorie-dense cubes to stop movement entirely.
Day 2
A smart cushion adjusts to mimic your most comfortable slump.
Day 2
AI predicts what you will watch before you even blink.
Day 3 · D-Day
You are replaced by a more static and efficient digital mannequin.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
16 hours
Average horizontal duration
4.2
Snack-to-input ratio
zero
Total motion events
Your severance
A single bag of stale popcorn and a remote.
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