Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Couch Sitter jobs? · Latest report #ad4iesdj
Your job has an expiration date
October 25, 2026
In 3 daysYour career has all the momentum of a dropped anchor.
Unemployed professional with a master's in stationary posture.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Takes up less room than you do.
squeeze.youAI▸ STATIC-SEAT 1.0▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
molds into the cushions indefinitely
You occupy space on a sofa. You provide zero measurable output.
The one thing AI can't do
You are excellent at becoming a permanent fixture of the living room furniture.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
We confirm you are doing absolutely nothing.
Day 2
The couch is replaced with a more efficient inanimate object.
Day 2
You are successfully removed from the living room.
Day 2
The empty spot generates more tax revenue by being vacant.
Day 3 · D-Day
You are no longer an active variable in the house.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
4 inches
Couch indentation depth
0.00 units
Productivity per hour
Your severance
A slightly used throw pillow.
Discussion
