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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Cuddle Companion jobs? · Latest report #ixacbk7q
Your job has an expiration date
November 29, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthHuman warmth is just an inefficient thermal transfer protocol waiting for optimization.
Professional emotional labor provider with high empathy overhead.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect pressure without the messy human history.
squeeze.youAI▸ CUDDLECLOUD HAPTICS V4.2▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
calibrates heart rate sync instantly
You provide non-sexual physical comfort and emotional presence in client homes. This involves managing personal boundaries and providing validation through proximity.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still offer a genuine, messy, unpredictable moment of human-to-human empathy.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors map your exact pressure, rhythm, and temperature to digitize the tactile experience.
Month 12
Clients receive weighted thermal vests that simulate your presence without the physical travel.
Year 2.1
Algorithms analyze your past session logs to mirror your comforting linguistic response patterns.
Year 3.1
Smart-home lighting and audio systems curate the physical space for maximum oxytocin release.
Year 4 · D-Day
The CuddleCloud pod replaces human staff, offering 24/7 availability with perfect, unwavering focus.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
0.02ms
Average Cuddle Latency
0.00%
Boundary Violation Rate
Zero
Emotional Carryover
Your severance
One weighted blanket and a lifetime subscription to silence.
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