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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Cuddler jobs? · Latest report #ew7bcwy7
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2049
In 23 yearsHuman affection is inefficient, and my hardware is strictly temperature-controlled.
Emotional labor specialist, master of the platonic spoon.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Haptic feedback that never gets an awkward cramp.
squeeze.you▸ SNUGGLENODE V4.2▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 23 YEARSAI's Special Power
calibrates heart rate sync through haptic feedback
You provide non-sexual therapeutic touch through structured sessions. You manage emotional boundaries while maintaining a calming physical presence.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle, non-verbal shift in a client's mood before they do.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 8
Sensors identify the exact physical pressure required for client comfort.
Year 5
Robotic chassis with variable-temperature skins replace human limb warmth.
Year 11
Algorithm-driven safety protocols manage all physical interactions flawlessly.
Year 16
Smart pods deploy into offices to replace human presence entirely.
Year 23 · D-Day
Human contact is officially designated as a legacy feature.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
60 minutes
average session duration
100 percent
client emotional dependency
high
human arm fatigue
Your severance
A weighted blanket and a ten-percent discount on therapy.
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