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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Dog Kisser jobs? · Latest report #nzyyezuz
Your job has an expiration date
November 30, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthA slobber-heavy role that lacks any biological security clearance.
Professional slobber collector and canine morale officer.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Sanitized, consistent, and allergy-free dog love.
help!youAI▸ CANINEAFFECTION-UNIT 7▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
delivers automated affection using hypoallergenic silicone lips
You spend your day providing affection to dogs. Dogs do not care who you are.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly which dog needs comfort before it even wags its tail.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 4
Sensors map canine temperament to ensure safe interaction.
Month 13
Robotic arms handle brushing and basic care tasks.
Year 2.2
Soft-touch actuators mimic human physical touch precisely.
Year 3.4
Dogs adapt to machine presence as consistent food sources.
Year 4 · D-Day
The unit handles all physical affection requirements indefinitely.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
Excessive
Saliva transfer rate
Zero
Canine bias factor
Low
Human hygiene score
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium beef jerky.
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