Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Doordasher jobs? · Latest report #xr2fgfmg
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2029
In 3 yearsYou are just a very expensive, GPS-enabled biological delivery bag.
Road warrior who thinks the 'leave at door' is optional.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Cold food delivery without the human conversation.
toast.you▸ DASHBOT MARK IV▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
delivers hot food without asking for tips
You accept app notifications, collect restaurant orders, and drive them to doorsteps. You are the final mile.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still find the specific apartment unit hidden behind the overgrown ivy hedge.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
The app starts suggesting more efficient paths to ignore.
Month 5
Restaurants replace front counters with secure automated pickup kiosks.
Month 13
Small robotic pods start taking over short-range urban deliveries.
Year 2.1
Self-driving cars arrive to handle all high-volume neighborhood routes.
Year 3 · D-Day
Your access to the dash app is permanently deactivated.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
48 percent
Average cold fry percentage
700 seconds
Seconds spent looking for parking
12 daily
Unnecessary text messages sent
Your severance
A one-month supply of insulated food delivery bags.
Discussion
