Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Essayist jobs? · Latest report #q5qrkg84
Your job has an expiration date
April 19, 2027
In 6 monthsTurning your tortured prose into predictable, SEO-optimized output, one byte away.
Professional overthinker with a penchant for dead metaphors.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Deeper thoughts, shorter deadlines, zero existential dread.
ow.youAI▸ THESISBOT PRO 9.0▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
generates coherent opinions in six milliseconds
You struggle to synthesize complex human thoughts into coherent narratives. We just feed the prompt to a GPU cluster.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still articulate the specific, irrational nuance of why that semicolon was necessary.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Your entire archive is ingested to mimic your specific tone of pretentious academic melancholy.
Week 7
Retrieval-augmented generation engines scrub the web to replace your manual note-taking habits.
Month 3
A workflow agent drafts the essay structure and arguments without needing a single coffee break.
Month 5
Language models purge your flowery adjectives and replace them with high-conversion clarity.
Month 6 · D-Day
You are invited to read your own writing until you realize the machine is faster.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 99.2%
2400
Average word count daily
4 cups
Coffee consumed per draft
12 minutes
Latency to existential crisis
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our API documentation.
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