Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Feline Caretaker jobs? · Latest report #kypu63zi
Your job has an expiration date
November 5, 2026
In 2 weeksA creature that requires affection cannot compete with a wall-mounted laser pointer.
Human staff member, cat-approved, hissed at regularly.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated affection for demanding indoor predators.
split.you▸ PURRBOX-9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 WEEKSAI's Special Power
dispenses treats to discourage aggressive hissing
You provide daily food, litter maintenance, and emotional support to a singular house cat. The cat remains displeased.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only person the cat does not currently want to destroy.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 2
Smart bowls remove your primary function of opening cans.
Day 5
Connected vacuums eliminate your daily task of waste removal.
Day 8
Cameras and lasers occupy the cat's time without your help.
Day 10
Synthesized purring sounds replace your gentle vocal reassurances.
Week 2 · D-Day
The cat acknowledges the new hardware as its sole provider.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
4.2
Daily Hiss Count
0.01%
Human Dignity Remaining
365/year
Litter Scoop Cycles
Your severance
One oversized scratching post and a heavy-duty vacuum.
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