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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Fig Squisher jobs? · Latest report #h45zphds
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2030
In 4 yearsYour sticky fingers are no match for a calibrated hydraulic press.
Sticky-handed artisan in a very niche agricultural sector.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfectly flat fruit, zero human mess.
toast.youAI▸ SQUISHMAX 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
compresses ten thousand figs without getting sticky
You manually flatten figs into uniform discs for processing. It is a slow, messy, and extremely repetitive chore.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle density difference in a perfect, ripe fig by touch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors identify perfect figs and flag the ones that are bruised.
Month 10
Robotic arms begin placing individual figs onto the pressure plates.
Year 1.9
A precision stamp flattens the fruit without tearing the skin.
Year 3
Self-washing surfaces prevent the sticky buildup you currently battle.
Year 4 · D-Day
The human workstation is replaced by a fully enclosed press module.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
450 units
Figs squished per hour
88%
Sticky residue percentage
12%
Average fruit bruising
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium un-squished figs.
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