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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Hair Provider jobs? · Latest report #znte8dub
Your job has an expiration date
November 30, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthYour scalp is just a low-yield carbon farm waiting for harvest.
Autonomous organic fiber producer with a shiny aesthetic.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Scalp-less fiber production for the modern market.
shred.you▸ FOLLIGROW BIO-REACTOR V4.2▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
accelerates cellular division in synthetic nutrient baths
You cultivate follicles on your own skull for commercial resale. You manage growth cycles and maintenance until the eventual clip.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the unique ability to endure the awkward phase of a buzzcut.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Wearable cameras map your follicular density for precise harvest timing analysis.
Month 6
Smart-injections supplement your diet to ensure uniform strand diameter for industrial buyers.
Month 17
Robotic precision-trimmers replace human hand-held razors to eliminate uneven gaps during harvest.
Year 2.5
Lab-grown keratin vats bypass the need for human scalp geography entirely.
Year 4 · D-Day
Your biological output is declared obsolete by superior, high-throughput synthetic fiber manufacturing facilities.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
0.5in/month
Growth Rate
Sub-optimal
Follicle Density
Negligible
Yield Per Harvest
Your severance
One high-end electric trimmer and a lifetime hat supply.
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