Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Hockey Defenceman jobs? · Latest report #m3b2szd6
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2031
In 5 yearsYour career is just a slow-motion sequence of getting outskated.
Professional ice-based collision enthusiast and shin-pad tester.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
No icing, no penalties, pure kinetic efficiency.
oof.youAI▸ BLUELINE-SENTINEL MK. IV▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 5 YEARSAI's Special Power
delivers hits at 90g with zero recoil
You defend the blue line, block shots with your shins, and attempt to clear the zone while being checked into the boards.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still communicate pure, unbridled rage at an official without violating the league bylaws.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Wearable gyroscopes replace your internal sense of balance to optimize skating lines.
Month 13
Headsets feed you the exact trajectory of every puck to eliminate decision-making delays.
Year 2.5
Lower-body exoskeletons are installed to guarantee hit-absorption without injury or fatigue.
Year 3.8
The pilot program replaces your decision-making with a deterministic pathfinding algorithm.
Year 5 · D-Day
You are traded for a draft pick and replaced by a fully autonomous line-clearing gantry.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
4.2 per season
Average tooth loss
0.3 seconds
Average gap closure
34%
Puck clearing efficiency
Your severance
One free lifetime pass to the penalty box.
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