Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Hockey Player jobs? · Latest report #62m25guz
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2031
In 5 yearsYour career ends when the algorithm stops missing open nets.
Professional skater (mostly bruised, definitely overpaid)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The ice is ours now.
sluurp.you▸ PUCKSTRIKE 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 5 YEARSAI's Special Power
delivers hits with perfect structural precision
You skate, stickhandle, and collide with opponents to move a puck into a net.
The one thing AI can't do
You alone know how to perfectly time a shift change during a line rush.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
Sensors inside skates map your every pivot and stride.
Month 6
Vision models calculate the perfect intercept path for every puck.
Month 16
Robotic hockey sticks learn to match your hardest slapshot accuracy.
Year 2.7
A squad of balanced bots dominates your team during practice.
Year 5 · D-Day
Human teams are relegated to the history archives of sport.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
7.2
Average tooth loss
40 Gs
G-force per check
120ms
Reaction time millisecond
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium synthetic ice lubricant.
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