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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Jumping Jack Instructor jobs? · Latest report #auktrdxu
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsA rhythmic waste of caloric potential powered entirely by human sweat.
Human metronome with high vertical reach and low utility.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimized vertical displacement for maximum efficiency.
sluurp.you▸ JUMPSYNC 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
projects perfect rhythm to your exact exhaustion
You perform repetitive vertical calisthenics to induce mild aerobic fatigue. Your career is effectively a human metronome made of meat.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still feel the profound pointlessness of your own physical movement.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 4
Sensors map your exact jump frequency and leg extension arc.
Month 10
A loud digital chime replaces your verbal counting entirely.
Month 15
Smart floor plates provide the mechanical lift previously provided by your calves.
Month 19
The machine stops tracking your fatigue and ignores your presence.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
You are invited to stop jumping as the floor plate assumes full control.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
4.2%
Average hop error
Zero joules
Human kinetic output
0.0%
Sync failure rate
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a stationary bounce board.
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