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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Life Coach jobs? · Latest report #inkjpz3i
Your job has an expiration date
June 19, 2027
In 8 monthsMonetizing your vague platitudes into a subscription-based chat interface.
Professional seeker of enlightenment at $200/hr
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Infinite wisdom, zero billable hours.
no no noyou▸ GURU-BOT V4▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 8 MONTHSAI's Special Power
gaslights you into feeling productive
You provide unsolicited guidance on personal growth and goal attainment. A database of motivational quotes can now do this with significantly less ego.
The one thing AI can't do
You are actually capable of pretending to care during a crisis.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
We scrape your entire coaching history to train a high-fidelity linguistic mirror.
Week 9
The AI replaces your intuition with a decision tree of highly probable responses.
Month 4
Clients receive automated check-in messages that feel more attentive than your manual emails.
Month 6
We switch clients to an unlimited messaging model you couldn't possibly survive.
Month 8 · D-Day
Your account is deactivated while the bot sends a final motivational goodbye.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 99.5%
4500
Platitudes per minute
0.0%
Empathy score
0.0001c
Cost per insight
Your severance
A PDF copy of your own generic advice.
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