Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Mascot jobs? · Latest report #zrp4yr3i
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsYour primary output is obstructing the view for half-priced concessions.
Padding the stats and the suit simultaneously.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Persistent cheer without the need for hydration.
no no noyouAI▸ MASCOTMOTION-X▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
maintains high-energy waves indefinitely
You wear heavy synthetic foam costumes for hours, performing repetitive motions to entertain distracted children and sports fans.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a toddler is about to cry.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors record your best character movements for movement libraries.
Month 7
Lightweight carbon fiber shells replace heavy foam interiors.
Month 16
Wheeled platforms take over walking in straight arena aisles.
Year 2.2
Head-mounted screens replace static fabric expressions for better engagement.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The mascot pod enters the field for permanent non-stop performance.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.4%
15 lbs
Average costume weight
2 liters
Sweat loss per shift
4 seconds
Fan engagement retention
Your severance
One free promotional keychain and a bus pass.
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