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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Mattress Tester jobs? · Latest report #uabm2pxd
Your job has an expiration date
September 22, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsGetting paid to nap is a luxury you won't afford much longer.
Professional sleeper, back-pain consultant, and dreamer of dreams.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifying REM cycles with cold, hard data.
toast.youAI▸ SLUMBERSCAN-9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
records REM density at three am
You evaluate sleep surfaces by measuring density, firmness, and body pressure distribution throughout long testing sessions.
The one thing AI can't do
You provide the subjective human nuance of truly feeling when a foam core is off.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 9
Sensors are fitted to your bed to record your movements.
Month 6
Pressure-sensitive sheets replace your subjective notes entirely.
Month 13
A mechanical frame performs the rolling tests while you sleep.
Month 19
Models learn to ignore your snoring and focus on density data.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
A silent pod takes the final measurements with total precision.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
8 hours
Average nap duration
4000/sec
Pressure point detections
Minimal
Back pain reported
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our white noise generator.
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