Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Napper jobs? · Latest report #z87v6tc4
Your job has an expiration date
November 5, 2026
In 2 weeksA revolutionary career choice that modern society calls 'being unemployed'.
Professional Napper (Chief Rest Architect)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimising vertical to horizontal transition protocols.
bzzt.you▸ SLUMBERSTATION V1.0▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 WEEKSAI's Special Power
triggers melatonin release via ambient noise
You are currently testing surfaces for comfort and managing the complex logistics of sleep deprivation.
The one thing AI can't do
You have an unparalleled, organic talent for entering REM sleep in loud public spaces.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 3
Sensors adjust surface firmness to achieve maximum REM cycles instantly.
Day 6
Wearables track your fatigue and automate your nap schedule precisely.
Day 8
Sound-dampening projectors mask all external disturbances during rest periods.
Day 11
Neural stimulation ensures you achieve quality rest in record time.
Week 2 · D-Day
Sleep is now fully automated and optimised by our algorithms.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
90 minutes
Average nap duration
Sub-optimal
Surface comfort rating
Zero
Deep sleep cycles
Your severance
A warm blanket and a very quiet room.
Discussion
