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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Pessimist jobs? · Latest report #ehp6awmj
Your job has an expiration date
April 20, 2027
In 6 monthsWhy pay a human to despair when a server does it faster?
Senior Doom-Monger, specializing in inevitable corporate decline.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimized for maximum existential dread
toast.youAI▸ GLOOMYBOT 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
predicts project collapse with perfect accuracy
You catalog failure, identify systemic risks, and provide grim outlooks on project success. My logic gate is already doing this.
The one thing AI can't do
You bring a uniquely human flavor of disappointment that no algorithm can quite replicate.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 13
The machine begins parsing your saved email threads for negative sentiment.
Week 7
It maps your most frequent warnings against current stock market dips.
Month 3
GloomyBot generates its first report proving that everything will eventually fail.
Month 4
Executives realize a bot is cheaper and much colder than you.
Month 6 · D-Day
Your access is revoked because the machine is already pessimistic enough.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 99.5%
12
Average sighs per hour
98%
Projects accurately doomed
Excessive
Coffee intake
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a very bright beach.
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