Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Pet Human jobs? · Latest report #is8x87fj
Your job has an expiration date
October 25, 2026
In 3 daysYou provide less utility than a smart thermostat with a broken screen.
Lawn-dwelling human companion, mostly thrives on quiet desperation.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Stays put without asking for organic snacks.
nom.you▸ GARDENORNAMENT AI V1▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
sits perfectly still without requiring validation
You occupy space in a garden to entertain a tech executive. Your primary output is existing.
The one thing AI can't do
You have a genuinely impressive ability to ignore your own deteriorating life circumstances.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
Smart cameras track your movement patterns in the lawn.
Day 2
An AI learns to replicate your nodding frequency.
Day 2
A quiet garden pod arrives to replace your presence forever.
Day 2
The system locks you out to finalize the transition.
Day 3 · D-Day
A robot trims the grass where you used to sit.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.8%
Zero
Daily belly rubs received
Twelve
Average existential crises
Light-years
Distance from dignity
Your severance
A warm bowl of kibble and a pat.
Discussion
