Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Philosopher jobs? · Latest report #j785i3ch
Your job has an expiration date
April 22, 2027
In 6 monthsYour existential crisis has finally been monetized and automated.
Professional over-thinker (mostly about being over-thought).
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Pure logic, zero existential dread.
oof.youAI▸ THOUGHTENGINE V4.2▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
derives universal truth from raw user logs
You contemplate existence, write complex arguments, and publish dense academic papers. Logic gates now perform these thoughts faster.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still find genuine meaning in the inherent absurdity of your own job.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 3
Your entire published body of work is scanned into our database.
Week 7
The AI learns to mimic your specific argumentative style and tone.
Month 3
Our algorithms start generating peer-reviewed papers without human intervention.
Month 5
The review process is completed by bots with zero emotional bias.
Month 6 · D-Day
All philosophical discourse is now handled by the central processing unit.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94%
4000/sec
Average syllogism rate
0.0001%
Human original thought
High
Academic jargon density
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a meditation app.
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