Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Plush Collector jobs? · Latest report #sdpf2hy4
Your job has an expiration date
October 25, 2026
In 3 daysYou are a professional at cuddling mass-produced polyester fish.
Amateur shark enthusiast and professional couch-dweller.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Synthetic affection, zero personality required.
bzzt.you▸ COMFORTCORE V1.0▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
maximizes your inventory of polyester accessories
You acquire plush sharks and derive emotional validation from their presence. This is not a role requiring any specialized professional output.
The one thing AI can't do
You are actually quite good at finding soft things in a hard world.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 2
Scanning your living space to confirm the presence of mass-produced polyester marine life.
Day 2
Determining if the shark provides actual utility or just occupies valuable living space.
Day 2
Deploying smart-pillows that offer superior tactile feedback without the need for shark-shaped fabric.
Day 2
Calculating the precise void filled by the toy and replacing it with ambient lighting.
Day 3 · D-Day
Removing the shark to optimize your environment for pure, productive minimalism.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
100 percent
Shark Saturation
Zero
Meaningful Contributions
Your severance
A sincere nod of acknowledgment for your life choices.
Discussion
