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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Primate Specialist jobs? · Latest report #38iz9zfe
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2028
In 2 yearsYou get paid for monkeying around until the sensors arrive.
Professional monkey-wrangler with a high tolerance for chaos.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Monitoring behavior without the primate drama.
toast.youAI▸ PRIMATEWATCHER-X1▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
tracks social hierarchies with perfect accuracy
You monitor primate behavior, maintain enclosures, and distribute enrichment. Your job is basically glorified zoo chores.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still tell if a chimp is being ironic with its gaze.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
High-def cameras replace your daily visual perimeter walks.
Month 5
Robotic dispensers take over your feeding schedule entirely.
Month 10
Vacuum-based drones clear the enclosures while you watch.
Month 16
Pattern recognition software flags social conflict before it happens.
Year 2 · D-Day
The enclosure is fully self-sustaining; your presence is redundant.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
Zero
Bananas peeled
Infinite
Tantrums managed
100%
Sensor coverage
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium primate pellets.
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