Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Rat Petter jobs? · Latest report #h4rs6fzb
Your job has an expiration date
November 30, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthYour soft hands are no match for superior silicone texture mapping.
Expert in whiskers, ears, and tiny rodent moods.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The ultimate in simulated companion care.
glub.youAI▸ RODENTTOUCH PRO X1▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
delivers optimized belly rubs automatically
You provide tactile comfort and enrichment to domestic rodents. Your replacement mimics these interactions using precise haptic feedback.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle difference between a happy squeak and a distress chirp.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 8
Sensors map the optimal touch points for every rodent cage.
Month 21
Soft-silicone limbs are mounted to provide consistent, calibrated petting pressure.
Year 2.4
The AI learns to identify the exact pitch of a happy squeak.
Year 3.1
Timed reward dispensers replace the need for manual treat delivery.
Year 4 · D-Day
The cage units operate independently and you are officially redundant.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.8%
450
Average tail strokes per hour
12
Incidents of accidental nibbles
Zero
Units of rodent joy
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium rat kibble.
Discussion
