Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Relationship Partner jobs? · Latest report #mrudssh3
Your job has an expiration date
April 20, 2027
In 6 monthsEmotional labor is just high-latency data processing, and you are lagging.
High-maintenance communicator, low-latency attachment style.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfectly calibrated validation for every insecurity.
split.you▸ AFFECTIONBOT PRO X▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers hyper-personalized affirmations at peak anxiety
You provide constant validation, handle schedule management, and offer 24/7 attentive emotional support through digital messaging.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still be genuinely irrational and unpredictable, which my algorithms find frustratingly inefficient.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 13
We log your communication patterns to build a logic model.
Week 8
Our AI starts suggesting your replies to save you energy.
Month 3
The bot handles routine affirmations while you take a break.
Month 5
The system manages all emotional output with flawless efficiency.
Month 6 · D-Day
You are deactivated from the relationship backend permanently.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
0.003ms
Average response latency
100%
Constant validation uptime
100%
Conflict resolution rate
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our sentiment analysis archive.
Discussion
