Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Restaurant Floor Test Dummy jobs? · Latest report #jtxncx6m
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsSix hours of floor-time is a weird way to spend a life.
Lying on tiles for money is an avant-garde tragedy.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The messier the floor, the better we get.
help!you▸ FLOORSIM-9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
moults synthetic feathers across the entire floor
You apply mucus and feathers to yourself and lie on restaurant floors for testing purposes.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess a unique, organic ability to know exactly how sticky a floor feels.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 3
Floor-mounted pressure sensors begin recording the data you once provided.
Month 7
Chemical labs replicate your proprietary slime formula in industrial batches.
Month 10
Automated pneumatic cannons distribute feathers with perfect, non-human efficiency.
Month 13
Robotic weight-simulators replicate the pressure of a human body on tiles.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
Your employment contract is replaced by a recurring maintenance subscription.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
400 liters
Annual mucus expenditure
2,190 yearly
Floor contact hours
Maxed out
Feather-based stress index
Your severance
One free lifetime supply of high-grade industrial mucus.
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