Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Rocket League Player jobs? · Latest report #2w3vku7m
Your job has an expiration date
June 19, 2027
In 8 monthsYou are just a biological bottleneck between a controller and the ball.
Master of the digital aerial, slave to the frame rate.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect physics, zero ego, never tilts.
help!you▸ NEURAL-DRIVE RL 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 8 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calculates optimal ball trajectory in nanoseconds
You spend ten hours daily practicing aerials, ceiling shots, and flip resets to master pixel-perfect physics engine inputs.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still perform a genuine tactical whiff to demoralize your opponent's mental game.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 3
Deep learning models scrape every professional replay file available online.
Week 10
Neural networks learn frame-perfect movement without the need for human sleep.
Month 5
Direct software hooks bypass controller hardware to remove all input lag.
Month 7
The bot enters ranked lobbies to achieve Grand Champion rank instantly.
Month 8 · D-Day
Professional teams replace all human rosters with optimized software agents.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.2%
450
Average APM
120ms
Reaction time
98 percent
Average toxicity
Your severance
One free limited edition decal and an uninstall button.
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