Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Sedentary Specialist jobs? · Latest report #d2xu47qg
Your job has an expiration date
October 25, 2026
In 3 daysYour commitment to physical inactivity is ironically, surprisingly easy to automate.
Master of horizontal optimization and snack retrieval efficiency.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The ultimate endpoint for human metabolism.
squeeze.youAI▸ SLOTH-LINK 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
perfects the art of doing absolutely nothing
You optimize domestic stillness and consume entertainment media. Deprecation.org is streamlining this existence into a high-efficiency consumption loop.
The one thing AI can't do
You are actually quite good at finding the remote without looking.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
Your devices will now choose the shows for you, eliminating decision fatigue.
Day 2
Delivery drones replace the need to reach for the bag.
Day 2
The machine takes over the chair; you are free to do literally anything else.
Day 2
Smart home sensors adjust lighting and temperature to induce total bliss.
Day 3 · D-Day
We archive your viewing history and replace your physical presence with a feed.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
12/min
Average blink rate
4 inches
Cushion indentation depth
near-zero
Caloric burn per hour
Your severance
A warm blanket and a subscription cancellation notice.
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