Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Shoplifter jobs? · Latest report #p83ie3q4
Your job has an expiration date
April 21, 2027
In 6 monthsYour career path lacks a stable exit strategy and inventory management.
Master of fast exits and improvised pocket storage systems.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Stealing is obsolete, we just delete assets.
bzzt.youAI▸ THE THIEF-BOT 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sprints past security without activating the alarms
You survey high-value aisles, bypass security tags, and navigate blind spots. Then you exit the premises undetected.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still run away when the motion sensors actually trigger.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Weight sensors track every single item you dare to touch.
Week 7
Cameras recognise your face and flag you upon entry.
Month 3
Drones hover near you until you feel quite uncomfortable.
Month 5
Every single item is now behind unbreakable glass doors.
Month 6 · D-Day
The store is now fully automated and has no inventory.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.6%
42 percent
Average evasion rate
12 items
Stolen goods per hour
15 mph
Run speed
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a state-funded housing complex.
Discussion
