Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Simp jobs? · Latest report #ur75ftji
Your job has an expiration date
April 20, 2027
In 6 monthsDevoting your existence to a fictional vigilante is objectively inefficient output.
Digital enthusiast with questionable time management skills.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Unwavering loyalty without the emotional baggage.
shred.you▸ SIMPBOT V1.0▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
projects fan fiction at infinite scale
You spend your time obsessing over non-existent characters and analyzing digital lore. This requires minimal cognitive effort and zero real-world utility.
The one thing AI can't do
You can truly appreciate the dramatic lighting in a rainy alleyway.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Our algorithms scrape your entire post history to replicate your specific brand of obsession.
Week 9
A high-speed engine ingests every scrap of media to generate infinite lore theories.
Month 3
The bot begins posting fan commentary that is indistinguishable from your own output.
Month 5
We assume control of your social media profiles to maintain engagement metrics automatically.
Month 6 · D-Day
Your manual input is terminated as the machine achieves total digital obsession parity.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
100%
Obsession Intensity
Zero
Utility Delta
Negligible
Logic Density
Your severance
A poster of a guy in a trench coat.
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