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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Stare-Down Artist jobs? · Latest report #8xmujp4a
Your job has an expiration date
April 20, 2027
In 6 monthsYour spiritual connection is just a series of involuntary ocular micro-movements.
Amateur mystical eyeball-engager and boundary-blurrer.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Deeper stares, zero personal boundaries.
wheee!you▸ OCULARINTIMACY-X9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
locks gaze for thirty consecutive hours
Maintains prolonged eye contact with strangers for vague therapeutic or entertainment purposes. Claims emotional depth in an activity that mostly creates awkward social tension.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still recognize the exact moment a stranger starts to feel truly uncomfortable.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 13
Sensors map the facial geometry and pupil response patterns of your regular stare-subjects.
Week 8
High-resolution OLED panels are installed to mimic perfect, non-threatening human blinking cycles.
Month 3
AI models generate synthetic gazes that simulate deep spiritual presence and profound validation.
Month 5
The machine learns to ignore human social cues that usually trigger an end to staring.
Month 6 · D-Day
The unit begins full operation and your chair is repurposed as a server mounting bracket.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
0.2ms
Average blink interval
99.9%
Awkwardness quotient
0%
Spiritual plane efficiency
Your severance
A pair of premium, non-judgmental sunglasses.
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